Here I am many years ago. Torn hat, popped collar, busy shirt. It is St. Patrick's Day and I sure hope I look cool. Do these girls think I do? More likely than not, they are only thinking the same thing I am, about themselves.
At this time in my life I had no idea what I was doing and to this day I still don't. The good news is that none of us do. We are all just "making it up and making it real", as Dan Sullivan would say, or letting someone else do it for us and hoping it works out.
I am realizing that the more I learn from others, the better I can practice and have a little more prediction of the result, or at least guidance towards an intended one. This is because I am drawing from the experience of those who have practiced before me. Still, because the world is truly living chaos, which we seek neurotically to make do our bidding, we have no certainty.
In this sense, everything is a leap of faith. If I want something to be different, action must be taken with the faith that I will learn from and adapt to whatever may happen. Seek knowledge faster, act faster, experience faster, learn faster. There is so much I do not know, and that includes most of what I think I know, so I better stay fluid and learning.
One might ask, "Action? What action should I take? I am taking action." The answer is, I have no idea, remember? I am just figuring it out too. Your life is a complexity I can't possibly know thoroughly enough to advise on that. For myself, I have realized that my complaints will tell me. My complaints must be converted to actions if my soul is to expand and grow. Because they are myself disagreeing with what I am doing.
What actions will this mean for me? I think I know, but like you, I am actually waiting to find out. So, stay tuned.